Texts From Last Night · Jazzie_fae's Favorites

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Jazzie_fae's Favorites Texts:

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(816): View more from Missouri

we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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(712): View more from Iowa

The police scanner is talking about you again....

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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