Texts From Last Night · bookworm0190's Favorites

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bookworm0190's Favorites Texts:

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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(646): View more from New York

just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"

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(646): View more from New York

All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...

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(407): View more from Florida

Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

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