Texts From Last Night · himynameisjason's Favorites

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himynameisjason's Favorites Texts:

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(515): View more from Iowa

I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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(618): View more from Illinois

He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero

(618): View more from Illinois

I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

(913): View more from Kansas

I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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