Texts From Last Night · ihatefags's Favorites

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ihatefags's Favorites Texts:

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(585): View more from New York

you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

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(239): View more from Florida

Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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(310): View more from California

Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

(310): View more from California

Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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(530): View more from California

just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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(909): View more from California

he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

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(712): View more from Iowa

I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.

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