Texts From Last Night · thomasb28's Favorites

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thomasb28's Favorites Texts:

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!

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(910): View more from North Carolina

It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.

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(607): View more from New York

We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.

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