Texts From Last Night · wide907's Favorites

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wide907's Favorites Texts:

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.

Fav 8 1521 3917
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(773): View more from Illinois

She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in

Fav 6 4273 1202
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(913): View more from Kansas

I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.

Fav 9 4539 1666
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

Fav 9 8654 1424
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve

Fav 4 4789 1115
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

Fav 33 1277 8262
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