Texts From Last Night · bootyshortzzzz's Favorites

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bootyshortzzzz's Favorites Texts:

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(818): View more from California

With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.

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(813): View more from Florida

Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina

(513): View more from Ohio

Post that event on your timeline

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(937): View more from Ohio

I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.

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(418): View more from Quebec

I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!

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