Texts From Last Night · jmenser88's Favorites

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jmenser88's Favorites Texts:

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(801): View more from Utah

It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants

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(330): View more from Ohio

First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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(707): View more from California

He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb

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(310): View more from California

I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked

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(860): View more from Connecticut

it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades

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(303): View more from Colorado

He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'

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