Texts From Last Night · regime's Favorites

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regime's Favorites Texts:

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Shit is preposterous

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(209): View more from California

Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force

Fav 1 794 599
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(770): View more from Georgia

Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour

Fav 4 888 492
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.

Fav 3 2009 883
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