Texts From Last Night · IrishFast's Favorites

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IrishFast's Favorites Texts:

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(360): View more from Washington

I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

Fav 3 1020 697
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(705): View more from Ontario

He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.

Fav 9 3436 766
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(818): View more from California

the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes

Fav 2 1329 718
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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.

Fav 9 1209 1272
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(416): View more from Toronto

I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

Fav 8 1751 726
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(210): View more from Texas

IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.

Fav 21 2439 838
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(571): View more from Virginia

The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or

Fav 10 2042 944
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(760): View more from California

don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.

Fav 23 2224 897
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