Texts From Last Night · sar3b3ar_'s Favorites

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sar3b3ar_'s Favorites Texts:

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here

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(303): View more from Colorado

I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself

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(719): View more from Colorado

hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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