Texts From Last Night · HaleyClaire92's Favorites

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HaleyClaire92's Favorites Texts:

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(415): View more from California

Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

(415): View more from California

Recession joke.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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(530): View more from California

Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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(519): View more from Ontario

He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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