Texts From Last Night · prettymutant's Favorites

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prettymutant's Favorites Texts:

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(404): View more from Georgia

alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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(517): View more from Michigan

just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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(443): View more from Maryland

you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..

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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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(903): View more from Texas

I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

(1-903): View more from Texas

What does that even mean?

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