Texts From Last Night · expatxgirlie's Favorites

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expatxgirlie's Favorites Texts:

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(480): View more from Arizona

It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!

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(416): View more from Toronto

We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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(905): View more from Ontario

His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.

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(213): View more from California

And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.

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