Texts From Last Night · sgh0379's Favorites

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sgh0379's Favorites Texts:

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.

Fav 2 64 21
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(903): View more from Texas

I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.

Fav 4 87 36
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(315): View more from New York

I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌

Fav 1 91 32
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(216): View more from Ohio

i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.

Fav 3 36 103
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(207): View more from Maine

I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream

Fav 2 28 84
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(843): View more from South Carolina

If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?

Fav 2 109 25
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(907): View more from Alaska

Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in

Fav 5 64 79
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.

Fav 1 47 59
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