Texts From Last Night · b4dw0lf's Favorites

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b4dw0lf's Favorites Texts:

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(229): View more from Georgia

He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"

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(810): View more from Michigan

Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?

(1-810): View more from Michigan

A safari of penis I hurt to the core

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(443): View more from Maryland

Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE

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(334): View more from Alabama

Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.

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(850): View more from Florida

For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.

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(705): View more from Ontario

He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.

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(317): View more from Indiana

There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

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(206): View more from Washington

You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.

(360): View more from Washington

1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you

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