Texts From Last Night · Lauto's Favorites

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Lauto's Favorites Texts:

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(519): View more from Ontario

It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.

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(519): View more from Ontario

he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.

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(519): View more from Ontario

There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge

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(519): View more from Ontario

You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.

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