Texts From Last Night · porkchop1357's Favorites

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porkchop1357's Favorites Texts:

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(201): View more from New Jersey

nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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(614): View more from Ohio

Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

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(850): View more from Florida

The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.

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(913): View more from Kansas

You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

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(631): View more from New York

He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.

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(631): View more from New York

Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?

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(631): View more from New York

He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.

(205): View more from Alabama

I hate freshman.

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