Texts From Last Night · spencey's Favorites

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spencey's Favorites Texts:

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(206): View more from Washington

Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.

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(907): View more from Alaska

You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

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(540): View more from Virginia

My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements

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(530): View more from California

75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter

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