Texts From Last Night · SgtPrinny's Favorites

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SgtPrinny's Favorites Texts:

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(708): View more from Illinois

youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out

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(804): View more from Virginia

She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(909): View more from California

The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."

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(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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(301): View more from Maryland

a search helicopter?!

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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