Texts From Last Night · AwkwardSilence's Favorites

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AwkwardSilence's Favorites Texts:

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(718): View more from New York

Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"

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(818): View more from California

I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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(925): View more from California

also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me

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(301): View more from Maryland

Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

(1-985): View more from Louisiana

Do I have a choice?

(985): View more from Louisiana

I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.

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